My mornings all start the same way. My alarm goes off, Brudder's alarm goes off. Boog and Brudder eat breakfast. They fight. They fight. They fight. This morning it got uglier than usual. Boog decided that he was going to use his ape abilities to scale the counter...to get to the butcher block of knives. He has never done this before. Brudder being the loving, hateful brother that he is decides that he will be the hero of the day...grabbing the knife blade side out and trying to take it from Boog. I guess I should have explained exactly how you are suppose to sword fight.
Brudder screams, Boog screams. I felt like screaming. I left the room for a total of three minutes to pee. Brudder had a small cut on his finger. Of course to him, you would think that he cut the finger totally off. This is coming from a kid who had to have stiches in two places on his arm. You would have thought this small cut was much worse. Go figure.
That was the first bloddy massacre of the morning.
After the clean up it was time to get dressed. Of course that couldn't happen without some kind of screwing around. This time with an inflatable Superman punching bag. Brudder hit it a few good times and then Boog started screaming. Now we have a bloody lip on the top and a blood bubble on the bottom. Boog kept saying how he needed a band aid. How he logically thought he would be able to wear a band aid on his lip all day was beyond me.
That was the second bloody massacre of the morning.
All within a five minute time period.
I'm playing the lottery this Wednesday for sure. When I win, I'm buying a nanny, changing my cell number and leaving on a jet plane.
Don't call CDS...I'll be back...when they are eighteen.
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