I'm pushing through here people

Have you ever felt like the entire world is swirling around you while you are standing still? That is me. Right now. I'm going through the daily routines without any second thought. I'm waiting on the moment that I can stop and smell the roses again. To enjoy what is going on around me. I feel like I am becoming robotic. The constant, same routine day in and day out is wearing on me. Making me exhausted. Life seems too short to be continuously running in this hamster wheel.

A good lottery win would make everything much easier right now. Did I mention that I am broke? School is making me majorly broke. I need graduation to be here. Now. Sadly, we make enough money by government standards to not be able to get any help yet we are barely feeding ourselves. Doesn't make much sense at all. With struggle comes reward. I know at the end of all of this, going to school, my little family will benefit in the long run. I can't wait until that day.

Until then the only thing I can do is to pray. Pray to keep our heads above water and make it through this period of time. Because in the end, it will be good. Hard work will pay off.

At Thirty, Farting is Still Funny

I live with a bunch of boys. A bunch of boys who burp, scratch and fart. Those farts, still make me laugh. The big, juicy good ones are the best. I'm thirty. But, I'm a mom to boys. They are gross. They are icky. But, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Mommy doesn't fart. She quacks. Betcha didn't know that did you. I figured a little TMI would be good for you on a Tuesday morning.

Hello Backache. I don't really heart you!

School has been pretty crazy lately. It is turning my schedule into complete chaos. But it has to be done. To get me where I want to be. Out of the restaurant business. I hate, hate, hate it. I'm keeping my eyes on the prize.

My midterm...100% baby! I couldn't believe it. I'm pretty amazing after all. Of course the course is pretty easy so far. Ask me in a couple months how I'm doing. Hopefully just as good.

The boys are coping pretty well to the madness. Ty makes fun of me because I have homework. He will too in a month or so. Maybe we can be study buddies!

Overall, so far so good. I'm excited to finally have the opportunity to get my school on. It is well deserved and will be so worth it in the end.

Of Mice and Moms

Tyler has been playing sports for about five years now. Over these years I have seen parents that are absolutely bat shit crazy...literally. I never knew the politics that go into youth sports. How moms and dads truly think their kid is the best and they will do whatever they have to do to make sure their kid is where they think they need to be.

Baseball. An All American Sport. My son has played it for four years. He is pretty good at it. I don't say that because I am his mother and I am allowed to brag. I say that because he is actually really good at it. This season he finally had a coach that let him play a different position. A coach that didn't choose his kid over mine because he was his kid. That is the downfall of having coaches with kids on the team. It doesn't matter if their kid is good or not. The fathers live through their children and play them where they wish they would have played when they were younger. I just don't get it.

A lot of the parents are pushing their kids to start pitching at nine years old. Seriously? I don't want my kid pitching. I don't want my kid to blow out his shoulder before he ever has a chance to play a "real" game of baseball. High School and college are where it is important. I have heard stories of twelve year olds already seeing an Orthopedic Surgeon. TWELVE YEAR OLDS. That is insane to me.

The pressure that these parent put on their babies is ridiculous to me. It's not about where they play now. The position now isn't important. What is important is that they experience different positions. Different experiences. Learn new things. So that when they do go to college and beyond, they still have a chance to use what they learned and become great at it.

The political aspect of youth sports is one thing that would make you just want to quit all together as well. Friends of coaches kids get the best spots too. Even if they totally suck at it. And I hate to say a kid sucks at something. But, lets be honest...just like with adults, there are just some things that one person can do better over another. That is just how it is. We all individually have our own strengths and weaknesses. God made us that way for a reason.

I'm not even sure I have a point to all of this. I'm just frustrated with a lot of things when it comes to stuff like this. I just wanted to bitch about it. Mission accomplished.

Whirlwind Weekend

I wish I were doing something fun. I have spent the better part of my day chasing after the crazy boys in my house trying to light some motivation under their bums. It isn't working too well for me. I'm being just as lazy.

I haven't had a lazy Saturday in a very long time.

Baseball is almost officially over. I still have a few things here and there that need to be buttoned up before we roll on into Fall Ball. The first one in many many years. The summer is going by way too fast. Soon the 4th will be here and then after that school will be back in session. When that happens I am sure to probably lose my mind at some point. From the last post, I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to get it all done.

I took the boys to see Toy Story 3 the other day. It was an adorable movie worth watching in theaters. Aidan held it together for the most part until our trip to Target. I was "that" mom. The one that we all look at horrified because her kid is absolutely out of control. He screamed...he kicked...he melted into a puddle in the parking lot. I have never been so embarrassed in my life. DCF would love me for saying this but I seriously wanted to strangle the kid. I couldn't believe it was happening to me. My kid was the biggest, nastiest kid that I had ever seen.

I seriously feel sorry for his future teachers. I have said it before but I seriously mean it. I'm hoping it is all just a phase. I'm over it so I hope he gets over it soon!

One more day off until work starts up again. It's been a lazy one. A deserved lazy one.

School Days Are a Comin'

It's almost that time. Time to grab my notebook and pencil and head back to school. I'm excited. I'm ready. I'm terrified. Not the whole going back after almost ten years since my first bought of college more the how in the wide world of sports am I going to make this all work??

I have a kid going into middle school, one in elementary, one that should be starting preschool and a butt load of sports programs and their school stuff that has to be fitted in somewhere. Plus my work and the extracurricular that I take on for myself. I'm either going to rock this out or fall flat on my face. I'm hoping number uno works out for me.

This next year will for sure test the better of me. Balancing everything and making it work. It has to work. I'm so beyond over the crappy restaurant position that I'm in now. Granted, the money is excellent but I need something more. For myself. For my family. I wouldn't say that I'm ashamed to say that I'm a server because that's not really it. Like I said, the money is good,the money is quick but I want to be able to prove to my children that an education can get you a lot more in life than just taking the hum drum jobs to pay the bills. I took a lot of time of from furthering my education to have my children. I love them all to pieces and would never trade them for the world but in hind sight I have realized now that timing is key. All of my life my father stressed education. I am the same way with my kids. To me, college isn't an option. They have so much potential already to do great things. I have to show them that anything is possible at any age. That just because I got a little side tracked doesn't mean that you can't do it all whenever you want.

I'm rambling and at this point probably not making much sense. So, I'll end it there. School is coming. July 6th. Ready or not. It is. And I'm ready!

Hello Tuesday. I'm here. okbai

I'm really starting to think that I am not so great at this blog thing. I'm not sure if it's because the plugged in world has made me lazy or what. When I am about to want to write something, I am so lazy that I don't even feel like logging in. Logging in! At the tips of my fingers. Right there! A user name and password holds me back from spewing my sarcasm all over the internet. Maybe it's a good thing.

Let's see if I can rewind and fast forward the past two months. BUSY! One word to sum it all up. Life is beating me up on every side. Some days I do not sit down until it's time to crawl into bed and get a fabulous five hours of sleep. If I'm lucky.

Baseball is still consuming my world. The biggest of big announcements is that I am starting school in July!!!! I am on a mission to be completely broke for the next year while I'm in school because that is what we will be. B R O K E! I'm not going to be able to work two jobs, be a momma and go to school all at the same time so something had to go. One and a half jobs to be exact. I'm totally scared about the next year. If I have to eat Spam...I'll do it. That is how important this plunge is for me. It will better my family in the long run but getting through the next ten months is going to be rough.

Like everything else, we will make it! We have too. On beans and weenies. I bet my boys will love that!